Next contestant
by Lady of the squirrels
Summary: what would happen if Sonic was a bar singer and Shadow went to all his performances? Sonadow don't like, don't read. Songfic...again. T for precaution .


1**Next Contestant**

"**Next contestant"-Nickelback**

**By Lady of the Squirrels**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this song, Shadow, Sonic or any other characters that may appear in the Sonic series; games included.**

Shadow entered the dim bar and looked around. He scoffed as he took a seat on a rickety red cushioned chair at the bar. He ordered his drink and looked at the crowd scowling, another night of knocking drunkards around. He finished off his first and ordered another as the stage lit up and a red echidna began beating on the drums. The girls in the crowd squealed and the echidna smirked keeping the tempo. He looked around glaring at all that crowded around the stage. 'All of you just wait..' He smirked to himself as the lead singer of the small town group emerged from the side.

_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her  
Each night seems like it's getting worse_

Shadow admired the white wife beater and low riding blue jeans on the blue hedgehog. The rips in the leg and thigh ruffled the blue fur underneath letting them slide around just enough to tease those staring at him. He scanned the crowd as all the groupies reached up rubbing the blue hedgehog's thighs as he approached the edge of the stage. He slowly got up from his chair and made his way towards the crowd. He growled as random people ground up against his body as he made his way up to the stage. (1)

_And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her  
It happens every night she works_

Sonic looked down noticing the path clearing only to see the black hedgehog approaching him. He smirked as he continued with his song and the first of the groupies went down quietly. He couldn't pull them off 'cause then he'd have to stop the song, but his boyfriend could. He happily struck the last note of the song as the last groupie was taken out. He continued his small concert as Shadow stood by the stage daring anyone to come near his blue one. (2)

_They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she sayIf they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work_

As the concert ended, the blue hedgehog joined the black one at the bar. Soon several men were spotted near the DJ and dedications were poured out to the blue one. Shadow scowled as Sonic smiled happily knowing he had fans that still loved him. He looked to the black one and took a drink of his Jack Daniels as the Ebony hedgehog glared at anyone who dare steal glances at his beauty. The blue one gently rolled emerald orbs before spotting a pool table. "I'm going to go play... Love you Shadz." He quickly gave the black hedgehog a cuddle and a kiss before running off to play pool.

_They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Shadow nodded and watched as all eyes averted from him and towards the pool table. He growled and turned back to his third Jack Daniels. He had to say he honestly hated Saturday nights. He watched as men ran up to the bar buying all kinds of fruity drinks to give to the small one. He shook his head as he watched them all out of the corner of his eyes. They wouldn't get to his Sonikku. Sonic accepted the drinks and happily downed them as he set up for his shots. Soon someone stepped up behind him and snaked their arms around him to align his shot.

_Here comes the next contestant_

Shadow's eyes quickly lowered into a death glare and he stood up from his stool. The barkeep quickly turned his back so as not to witness the fight about to ensue, he knew Sonic's rules to keep him performing at this bar. Shadow slowly and cooly stalked over to the pool table as the bar regulars all turned their backs to the pool area. (3)

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_ (4)

Sonic stared at the man realizing he was a newcomer and shook his head. The men watching the game suddenly seemed to vanish and all that remained was one black hedgehog. The hedgehog smirked as he approached the squirrel, "You seem to be touching something that belongs to me, you have three seconds to remove your hands or else." Crimson eyes lowered into an even icier glare. The Squirrel refused to let go of the blue beauty and Sonic shook his head again. The Squirrel was stupid as hell, how did he think he was gonna get into Sonic's pants if he was stupid? Sonic liked smart men, like his Shadow. He grinned as the pool stick was slipped from his hands. (5)

_I wish you'd do it again_

_I'll watch you leave here limping_

He ducked quickly as the pool stick connected with the squirrels head. The squirrel was smart enough to grab the pool stick away from the enraged hedgehog, but not smart enough to expect the other to grab his head and slam it against the table then yank it back to stare into orbs that replicated the very fires of hell. He shivered involuntarily and wiped blood from his nose. Shadow smirked before slamming the squirrel against the wall and slamming his head back into the pool table. He handed Sonic his pool stick back and left the unconcious squirrel beside the pool table. (6)

_There goes the next contestant_

Shadow scowled as a few women made their way to the pool table. Rabbits, definitely not Shadow's favorite type to deal with. He sighed and watched polishing off the half of his third beer before laying the bottle to the side and paying attention to his love's company.

_I even fear the ladies  
They're cool but twice as crazy  
Just as bad for coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work_

He shuddered as they touched his quills and watched him intensely. He figured they were eye raping him. Picturing their bodies beneath his perfect one. Little did they know he hated being in charge in bed. He loved submitting and just letting the feeling of both their passion wash over him every time. Shadow frowned as one of them began to touch Sonic's chest and run her long fingers over his stomach. Sonic shifted uncomfortably, the touch was softer than that of Shadow's, he didn't like it. Shadow saw the slight discomfort and for the third time raised from his seat to come to the rescue. (7)

_Each time she bats an eyelash  
Somebody's grabbing her ass  
Everyone keeps coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Shadow growled as he watched a man approach his lover and take a seat next to him. The seemingly alright man stared lecherously at the blue one and sneakily snaked a hand down to rub the blue one's ass. Sonic stood stunned making eye contact with Shadow as he approached. Shadow growled louder as the man continued to explore his Sonikku. Sonic stood still not wanting to upset either male. The Fox looked up glaring at the black one in a challenge. Shadow smirked.

_Here comes the next contestant_ (8)

Knuckles sat in the corner making loud cheering noises as Shadow slid the pool stick from his love's hands again.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

Shadow leaned down and posed to take his shot. "Left back pocket." He stared at the fox as the fox watched him intensely. The fox yelped as he felt the poolstick connect to his head in one fluid movement and he flew across to land on top of the pocket Shadow had called.

_I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

The Fox stared as Shadow quickly lined up another shot and began to get off the table when the cue ball nailed him in the back of the head knocking him unconcious. Shadow turned and looked at a shocked Sonic and smirked before walking over and claiming Sonic's lips as his own.

_There goes the next contestant_

Sonic moaned into Shadow's mouth and Shadow backed up satisfied. "You're mine, only mine, remember?" Sonic nodded happily. "Good." Sonic grinned as Shadow walked away back to the bar. Knuckles drunkenly cat called to his buddies for the PDA and soon after Shadow slung a Jack Daniel's bottle back that left the echidna stunned.

_I'm hating what she's wearing  
Everybody here keeps staring  
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

Sonic went back and changed into girl pants and a tight green shirt. As soon as he left the backstage area he was mauled with stares. The only real one he cared about was a pair of crimson pools that sat across the room at the bar. He smiled and received a cat call from his best friend. He waved to Knuckles who winked back. Sonic shook his head continuing his seductive trek to Shadow. His hips swayed gently as he strode across the room. He suddenly fell to his butt as he realized there was a cat in front of him. Shadow watched intently turning to cover a hard-on that had begun forming. When his view became interrupted by a fool, who he assumed felt the call of death. He rose from his seat once again and the bar tender smiled at his determination.

_Here comes the next contestant_

The idiot let a lecherous smile cross his lips as Sonic stood up. The lean body trembled slightly until he saw a pair of red and white shoes. He smirked and stared at the cat as he mentally stripped the blue hedgehog. Sonic crinkled his nose. "Hey beautiful, wanna come home with m–." His sentence was interrupted as Shadow landed a punch to the middle of the cat's back. The cat howled in pain and turned to face his assailant.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

Shadow smirked at the cat. "It's not nice to take things from others without asking." The cat stared oddly at Shadow. He snarled as Shadow didn't back down and glared as the hedgehog approached the beauty he had stopped. The black hand slid around the blue one's waist and they began to leave. The cat grinned as he found an object to toss and aimed for the back of Shadow's head. When the object met it's target both hedgehogs froze and the black one turned menacingly. The cat shivered as smoldering pools of fury met his gaze.

_I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

Shadow looked at a man and reached for his bottle. The man nodded his head and Shadow picked up the empty bottle and approached the cat. The cat gulped and backed away trying to seem tough hoping the hedgehog would back off. Sonic sat down and watched gleefully as his boyfriend protected him again. He watched as the bottle was slammed over the cat's shoulder and a stool was picked up and connected to the cat's head in unison with a kick to the groin. Shadow stared at the man and shook his head walking back over to Sonic.

_There goes the next contestant_

Sonic kissed Shadow's cheek and put his hand in Shadow's back pocket. Shadow smiled and put an arm around Sonic. They reached the double doors and Shadow turned around smirking at everyone before stepping out the door with his beloved.

_I wish you'd do it again  
Each night seems like it's getting worse  
I wish you'd do it again  
This time somebody's getting hurt_

He sighed as Sonic cuddled into his side. Another Saturday had passed, six more days until the process repeated. He smiled at the calm taking over the back of the taxi and the happy couple relaxed on their ride home.

_There goes the next contestant_

A/N: well, hope you enjoyed, hope it didn't suck, should have another one up soon, started it, haven't finished... LOVE ALL MY ADORING FANS! Peace out yo, LOTS

1. Luke: lmao... i saw "white wife beater" and was like "...i thought this was a story about shadow and sonic not some freaky redneck o.O"

2.Luke: lmfao XD pwned XD

3.Luke: oo shadows lookin to kill

4.Luke: get em shadz!

5.Luke: oo shadows gonna kill

6.Luke: oo OWNED. FUCKING. OWNED.

7.deathbyshr00ms: knight in black and red armor o.O er black and red fur

8.Luke: shadow: ive sent one home in an ambulance... youre next bitch

Kate: damn straight!

P.P.S. I got in trouble today, and now my mom says she's taking my internet away permanently. I'll never have it back according to her, so I want you all to know, if I don't post in forever, that's why. I'm gonna try to get my good friend Aira to post for me, I'll give her my sn an' stuff if she decides she wants to, if not, then I'll try to find a way to post. Any way I can really, I love you very much, really, I mean it... honestly. ttyl.


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